COVID has taught us that experts and leaders lie.
That’s it. Everyone, good night.
As she attempts to put together words like half-blinking, cheap Christmas lights, she is the weakest bulb.
INTERVIEWER It’s time.
KAMALA MALA HARRIS, VICE PRESIDENT: The time has come to stop what we are doing and start again. It is now that we can all agree on the fact that there are tools and resources that will help us slow down this process.
It seems like every day. Wow. This is like listening to a song. That’s not word salad — that’s a turd salad with a vinaigrette of voter regret.
BIDEN WHITE HOUSE PUMMELED FOR ROLLOUT OF COVID TESTS EXPECTED TO SHIP ‘WITHIN 7-12 DAYS OF ORDERING’
Then she starts speaking, hoping her words would line up in the cafeteria. But instead, the words scatter like a deck with cards in the strong wind. These two metaphors are interconnected.
It’s funny — the Dems were hoping her youthful enthusiasm would rub off on Biden, which is hard to do because they’ve only been in the same room twice in the last year.
Biden’s incoherence, however, has spread to her. Evidently, this is just as contagious and infectious as the omicron. Let’s see a picture.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: The vote is counted. Count your vote. Count your vote.
HARRIS: I urge people to — you can Google it or go on to any search engine and find out where free testing and the free testing site is available.
BIDEN: And to help lead our federal testing program, I’ve talked, I’ve talked, I’ve — excuse me, I’ve tapped Dr. Tom Inglesby. Let me know if I’m correct in my pronunciation of Inglesby
HARRIS : Please look over the latest information. I think it’s going to be by next week — but soon, absolutely soon. We must act quickly.
INTERVIEWER – Should that have been done sooner?
HARRIS: We are doing it.
INTERVIEWER – But could we have done this sooner?
HARRIS: We are doing it.
Yeah. Wow. Wow. You can call it Joe-micron. It causes brain damage in the minds of poor politicians.
They are as confident as doctors in operating rooms wearing T-shirts of female body inspectors.
Talking of doctors: This week, we discovered that top scientists believed that COVID actually leaked from a laboratory, but that they were afraid that more debate might harm Chinese science.
We don’t want them to continue doing lab experiments with Uighurs or caged Poodles.
According to emails recently surfaced, one expert admitted that COVID was likely to have rapidly developed in low-security laboratories.
REPS. COMER, JORDAN EXPOSE NEW FAUCI EMAIL THEY SAY POINT TO COVID-19 LAB LEAK ‘COVER UP’
Yes, it is a low security lab. Maybe that’s just me. But, this lab sounds terrible for experimenting with potentially deadly viruses.
Kat observes better safety precautions when making meth at home.
Fauci, Dr. Francis Collins and the NIH email suggest that a virus could have been created for quick transmission among humans.
This is a big wooop, much bigger than Biden’s daily one.
The experts did what? They jumped into action in an effort to find the truth.
Fat chance my Friday friends.
The scientists feared that discussion of gain-of function research could cause unnecessary damage to science, in general and China specifically. Francis Collins warned it could damage international harmony — that’s right.
The secret was kept quiet to not protect you but to preserve the feelings of the cruel, lying dictatorship, which is as sensitive as TikTok’s chubby child.
Talking of harmony: what did Collins do rather than tell us the truth about the NIH’s former chief? This:
DR. FRANCIS COLLINS [To the tune of “Somewhere over the Rainbow”]: I can remember a full and active life, somewhere beyond the pandemic that we have when we are free.
This is the time I envy the dead. My ears will accuse me of murder, I believe.
Nero was a fiddle player while Rome burned. Francis was like an f —— camp counselor, ruining everyone’s s’mores while the pandemic raged.
The emails show that scientists didn’t care as much about science and politics, but rather preferred to conceal the source of the deadly virus to share information with people who would be dying.
People like us knew that the virus probably originated from this laboratory. Some of them were scientists and were mocked. Some people were called racist.
However, they were mockingly acquiescing to their views privately. But they didn’t say this out loud, just to secure their —- grant.
We were told to use masks inside our cars by those wearing tinfoil caps. There are no parks or swimming pools.
This raises the question: How insane were scientists? The scientists created the deadly virus in hopes that they would be able to reverse engineer a vaccine.
You can simply not create the virus. You don’t have to reverse engineer the vaccine.
We don’t have to create new ones.
It’s all fun and games, but where is the joy in that?
This manmade virus wasn’t leaked intentionally, but I don’t think so. While I believe no one intended to cause more than 10,000,000 deaths, it is clear that experts in the murky world of arrogance knew that there was a chance you might leak a dangerous, man-made virus. But they accepted this risk.
They blamed the wet markets for what happened. It is a very gross form of Trader Joe’s.
Well, just down the road, researchers were bumbling around like a bunch of nutty professors — how convenient. According to scientists, the pandemic was not caused by scientists.
So, after scientific institutions refused repeatedly to allow access to documents, Republicans were forced into granting them permission to do so.
This email shows that scientists had already tried to shut down any debate. They claimed it would cause distractions for top researchers.
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It’s true, people would not be able to get work done if there was a nuke heading towards New York. Don’t say it.
Collins was concerned that conspiracy voices would quickly take over, possibly because they were correct in that instance and Collins’s terrible singing cannot drown them out. They covered up the truth and we are all now covering our eyes.
We now have millions of bodies from the laboratory leak that they were aware was far more likely than they realized. You can call it murder, but the real crime was in their gamble. They chose to throw the dice. They decided to roll the dice. Although it was accidental, they accepted the risk.
Yes, somebody might be killed but that’s unlikely to happen to me.
Their reputations were more important than human lives. You were nothing to them but the contents of a Petri dishes.
What’s the penalty for this?
They’d even make you bail in the liberalest city.
This article was adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue in the January 14th 2022 issue of Gutfeld!