Welcoming you back to the new year. Are you feeling excited? Kat and Emily should be – considering I didn’t crush them for their guest host jokes in my absence.
Kat: unlike Greg when he sits in this chair, I don’t need a booster right now// Kat: that’s right, a cultural reference that is newer than 40 years old – you won’t get that with Greg Gutfeld // Emily: is Greg tied up naked with duct tape over his mouth dumped in the girl’s locker room? That was Greg in high school. Emily: Do you believe Greg is missing us now? Is it appropriate to call him giant Greg? Kat:
Jerks. They were so yakking at me, that I spent eight nights in my one-bed bed for the entire time. Like Wilt Chamberlain, I prefer 8 beds every night. However, I got sick.
Although I was negative for covid, all other tests were positive. Pretty certain I got the flu, the virus, and the zika. What do you get if you loan one of Michael Loftus jackets? It harbors far more bacteria than any port authority toilet.
It was a difficult year, but I am thankful that it went well. We have had a great year planned. I believe in optimism and can see amazing things once again. Not just in my mirror.
This is the most telling sign: watching legacy media realise they’re in serious trouble. You can tell things are not going well in 2022 because they still live through 2021. They are preparing for “conflict Christmas,” also known as January 6. 2.0.
It’s almost as though Santa Trump, the ghost of Presidents Past, can save the crippled cable system. You can see that there is a small informal network of journalists who have been through the same thing and still manage to cope with it, all leaning on one another, speaking amongst themselves!
TOP REPUBLICAN CHARGES PELOSI WAS RESTRICTING ACCESS to JAN.6 RECORDS IN GOP PROBE HER ACTIONS
Rolling Stone’s Hunter Walker, “Reliable Sources,” Sunday: There’s a bit of an informal network of reporters who’ve been through it that day, and are still coping with that, who are leaning on each other and talking to each other … we’re all still dealing with that and feeling like we need to convey to others how serious it was
You jackasses, it’s not serious because nobody thought so. Please. Although everyone thought it was terrible, unlike you they don’t want to profit from it. It’s still being processed by brave journalists in our country, as if it were a surge in the price of responsibly-raised chicken.
Yes, they’re taking a riot — where the only unnatural death was from a cop shooting an unarmed woman — and making it out to be worse than 9/11. They are still struggling to cope with the event, which everyone acknowledged was a terrible and tragic incident that happened. But CNN can’t let go. It is important that they convey the severity of their situation to other people. Realität victims. Why? Because reporting what actually happened didn’t scare enough people. Much like Loftus’s spray on the body, this ginned-up panic has long since worn off.
So what’s left for CNN — besides a ‘To Catch a Predator” reboot? Create a distraction. Take a look at the guy in the Viking hat. He’s part of the unarmed insurrection that no one has been charged with insurrection for. Because he is so frightening, he had to dress up in a Halloween costume. It’s journalists that are really the victims.
POLITICO CALLS JAN. 6 AS ‘ONE OF THE DARKEST DAYS OF AMERICAN HISTORY’
Brian Stelter, “Reliable Sources,” Sunday: Grace, you wrote for “Poynter” at the end of January last year, you said, sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes, all I want is to sob for hours. Sometimes, I want to go to bed. This sounds, to me, like trauma. It sounds similar to PTSD. Is that something you are still experiencing? // Grace Segers of The New Republic says yes // Stelter asks Hunter: Do you feel that way? Walker: You know what? I have had PTSD after a terrible car accident. // and I have been really grateful for this as I’ve been dealing with January 6th. // Stelter. To learn more about PTSD. // Walker: exactly. You know what I mean? I was there for it.
Yes, they’re all suffering from PTSD, a disorder usually experienced by veterans and actual violent crime victims — you know, the people whose complaints the press normally ignores. Jussie Slomollett, if they are journalists who have been victims of PTSD, is Jussie? They’re hoaxing a hate crime against themselves, and yet there they are, demanding compassion – something that was strangely missing when dozens of Americans were dying in the riots that they, the media, ignored. It was a time when all was calm. They hid those violent details like the secret service hides Biden’s car keys.
The media is now taking the pain of the real victims. Similar to when they blamed Waukesha’s terrorist attack on an SUV. When violence decimated nearly two dozen large cities, many of them were liberals, they didn’t feel that way. It could be that they weren’t as far away from the destruction they tried to cover up.
See — that’s why it’s the soldiers who get PTSD –- not the people who sent them to war. But you can’t blame them for trying — the polling has shown the country moved on from CNN’s latest fetish, at least the only one that’s legal.
JAN 6. ANNIVERSARY: WASHINGTON POST MEDIA COLUMNIST URGES MORE ‘PRO-DEMOCRACY’ COVERAGE ‘BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE’
The public is seeing the Republicans move in the right direction. But it’s not the Dems that keep sinking, like an iPhone left in a bathroom. Now, I’m not sure if Republicans have any answers. Any politicianThese days? They are all horrible, just like the Maroon Five catalogue. However, anything can be better than the Dems’ offerings.
It’s 2021, disguised as 2022. Inflation, Covid, Crime. The bottom is a pit without any bottom. There’s always a spike at the bottom. CNN decided to go all in January 6th. It’s transparent, just like Miley Cyrus’ Tube Top. This is so evident.
Perhaps January 6th is the distraction we will need in order to avoid our casual dismissal and misunderstanding of the pain caused by Democrat rule 2021. Perhaps focusing on January 6th will allow America to forget about every day that isn’t. It may be the only place where CNN ignored your pain, victims of persecution got it, and law enforcement was more dangerous than the criminals they were trying to protect.
They also covered the delusional producers, political cousins and screwed up anchors. CNN was more concerned with covering the news than the actual reporting of it in 2021. You get the idea — January 6th for CNN is the true Christmas.
Skit Of Joe DeVito gives Emily Compagno a gift on January 6th
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You can blame anger, hysteria or division. They all make wonderful stocking stuffers. CNN’s Santa will tell you that this is true. You Who are rude and who are kind.
A piece of advice: don’t lie on your lap.
This article was adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue in the January 3rd 2022 issue of Gutfeld!